Monday 13 November marks World Kindness Day, but at the time of writing I’m on my period and everyone is pissing me off, so I’m preaching about self-kindness again instead.
A few months ago, I moved into my grandparents’ old house to save some money on rent and also to help to clear it so it can be sold. They’ve left a considerable amount of porcelain cats and every birthday card they’ve ever been given, as well as some things I haven’t seen in years. Picture books I could still recite word for word, some fairly unflattering portraits I’d drawn of them, a stool I used to stand on to hinder the cooking process, and a chip in the counter I could once fit my thumb into perfectly.
All these things have made me wonder what younger Eloise would think of my life now, and how I treat myself. Most of us have probably seen the ‘This Is Who You're Being Mean To’ trend where we’re encouraged to think back to our younger selves before we indulge in self-deprecation, but this inwards reflection can also extend to how we find joy.
I recently saw this woman online say that she stopped drinking when she realised it was her only hobby but then didn’t know how to fill that time. An overwhelming amount of people replied to suggest thinking back to childhood to remember what she used to enjoy doing then. It makes sense that we still share some interests with our younger selves, we’re who we are because of them. Little Eloise gave me the crush I have on Natalie Imbruglia and an irrational fear of the film Babe: Pig in The City. She’s the reason I can’t buy tea tree shampoo because it reminds me of having nits, and why I can’t eat Wotsits anymore after watching someone wash them under the tap at nursery. She’s messed me up a bit, actually, maybe I should be a bitch to her after all?
No, but this idea of fulfilling your childhood needs prompted me to get into journaling because of my childhood love of writing and doodling – on reflection, I might have her to thank for my job too. If you’re trying to find yourself at the moment, maybe start by looking back. x