Skip to main content

No results found

CSxOxMagazine SqueezedMiddle 1110x120px busdlq
Knowledge, Perspectives

Columns:

The Accidental Texan  

divider
The Accidental Texan Flag of Texas

It’s been raining for the last three weeks in Texas, which means we’ve had to get clever about finding things to do. We aren’t used to this weather, and there’s only so much time we can spend watching the neighbor’s sofa or Pontiac float down the street. I recently went bowling, because I was so very desperate for entertainment.

I’ve never been a fan of bowling. What is bowling, anyway? A person in slippery shoes rolls a ball down a lane to knock over some pins. It is called a ‘sport,’ yet there are no opponents making it more difficult, the pins don’t move, and you don’t even have to go down there to get your ball back – it simply reappears. That’s not a sport.

When I was a kid and my parents took us all on Saturdays to the local alley to go bowling, I was not impressed. I was bored, it was too loud, everyone was dressed poorly and was way too excited about seemingly nothing. When my dad joined a league, bought a ball, and had his name engraved on it, I was horrified. His status as My Hero was now overshadowed by the image of him working on his spin, which he could never get right, even though there are absolutely no variables in the game. Not even wind.

As you can see, bowling and I are not friends.

So there I was reluctantly having a few games of bowling with friends. Then somewhere around the fourth frame of the first game I had this moment: I stood there at the top of that lane, cradling my eight-pound pink ball in both hands, and staring at those pins. Time stopped for me. I thought about the whole of my life and all of the things I’d done, all the great people I’d met, and how everything conspired to bring me my current circumstances. It was magical, zen-like and strange, and I imagined that this frame was somehow a metaphor for my whole life. Really, that’s what I thought.

When I brought that ball back and sent it down the alley, I fully expected a strike. I expected those pins to careen and shatter as if they’d been hit by a blazing-pink rocket. I expected to turn to my applauding friends and tell them about the enormity of what had just happened. What I did not expect was a 7. My life is a 7-pin frame. I still hate you, bowling.

RECOMMENDED

flags hnlyne
Tue 2 Apr 2024

In the rich tapestry of English history, few figures loom as large as St George, the patron saint of England. His legendary exploits, particularly his valiant battle against the fearsome dragon, have become ingrained in the cultural fabric of the nation. Yet, amidst the myths and legends, the historical details of his life remain somewhat elusive.

Gramps
Tue 2 Apr 2024

I still love all things needing petrol to make them work; especially cars and bikes, so I’m a pariah in the eyes of many, which is ironic as the word ‘pariah’ originated from India which is where much of our motoring manufacturing has gone.

NFRSA kf55rd
Wed 13 Mar 2024

The Right Honourable Countess Bathurst, affectionately known as Lady B, has long been involved in her local community. She lives with the Earl (and her beloved dogs) at Cirencester Park and has served as president and patron of many local charities, as well as a stint as High Sheriff of Gloucestershire and Ambassador for the Office of the Police and Crime Commissioner for the county.

shutterstock 73294486 qsrink
Fri 1 Mar 2024

In many areas of life, the top spots are taken by males. This often has nothing to do with talent. The situation is slowly improving but the world would be a better place if more of our global leaders were female. We need fewer testosterone-fuelled males with inflated egos and more level-headed women to help guide us towards the promised land. In our household it's the women who get things done.