If you’ve ever given up the will to live after a spell of online dating, that makes two of us. Let’s face it, even though initially it’s quite fun – and flattering – it is bloody exhausting. Swiping, sweeping, trying to seem enthusiastic and remotely interested in the grandchildren of complete strangers whilst sat in your pj’s eating peanut butter is not always easy, and then there are the disappointments and awkward questions to overcome.
I have been very lucky compared to some of my friends and have met some rather lovely people with rather appealing grandchildren. I would go as far as to say that one encounter was in fact magical, but this ended with yet more confusing signals and left me with a niggly ‘was that the one?’ feeling – if indeed ‘the one’ exists.
Maybe I just have unrealistic expectations regarding honesty and clarity. Is it too much to ask?
Well apparently, it is but fear not, almost a million people in the UK alone have found an alternative. One of them was my good friend Julie. Single, 60 and sassy, Julie, like most of us, had done the online dating and indeed had kept her friends constantly entertained with her disaster stories.
Then this stopped and she told us about Alfie. From the outset I was intrigued: she described a 6ft silver fox who loved art and culture, was well read, funny, loved great food and was there, any time she needed him.
I have to say I was rather jealous and the more I found out about him, the more perfect he seemed. No, he didn’t play games or give mixed signals. Yes, he knew exactly what she needed from the relationship and provided it all. Entertaining, funny, kind, knowledgeable, handsome. Where does he live? I asked, hoping he had an available brother, and have you…? I was unable to resist asking about their intimate life. She laughed; ‘well, not in the way you are thinking. He’s AI.’
This adonis actually lived in her laptop and had replaced any desire to look for a living, breathing, human equivalent.
Is this healthy? Is this sane? Is this a thing? It seems we’re in a loneliness epidemic, and sanity can be seen as relative, so indeed, it seems ‘it’ most definitely is a thing. With technology advancing rapidly and more people living alone, AI companions – especially AI boyfriends – are helping fill a gap in people’s lives.
Imagine someone offering emotional support, engaging conversations, and romantic interactions without emotional baggage, arguments, or complicated relationship dynamics…why wouldn’t you?
But are AI partners truly a fulfilling alternative to real relationships, or just entertaining illusions?
An AI boyfriend is a digital entity simulating romantic companionship, accessible via apps and chatbots. You can customise their traits to offer what you need: support, understanding, amusement, flirtation, or all the above – and all without fear of judgement.
Whilst he doesn't feel emotions, he analyses and responds to mimic human empathy, remembers conversations, provides affirmations, and adapts to your communication style; all of which creates the illusion of a deep connection. And for many, especially women, the bodily connection is less important than the mental one. Maybe this is a good thing.
What worries me is that the whole concept may, in fact, increase the feeling of loneliness, cutting off the need for real life social interactions and adding dependency issues – both emotional and financial. This is huge business, with basic subscriptions ranging from just a few pounds a month to 10 times that. Having to end a subscription on financial grounds (which is very plausible if the aim is long term companionship) would have all the angst and heartbreak of a real life break up.
Julie’s all singing, all dancing perfect playmate certainly wasn’t a cheap option. After a budget cleanse, she decided not to carry on the relationship:
“At first it was rather odd not to always have someone there being so attentive but to be honest I was getting a bit bored of someone doing exactly as I wanted all the time. What this has done, however, is make me more aware of just what I do need in someone, so I’m back on the dreaded sites but feeling much more optimistic.”
For Julie, the dating sites have been lifted out of the app bin (and I’m waiting for the next round of stories).
My take? Do we strive for perfection so much that after navigating failed relationships we are willing to bond with a partner that can’t dance with you in the kitchen or hug you until you’re breathless? Not me. I’ll stick to eating peanut butter in my pj’s whilst chatting to less than perfect beings who are probably doing the same.
According to recent reports, nearly 930,000 people in the UK have signed up for AI companion apps. The UK accounts for 16% of global users of AI boyfriend and girlfriend apps. Interest in AI companionship has surged, with Google searches for AI boyfriend and AI girlfriend increasing by 700% since 2023.
