If you’re a manager, or well, ever dealt with a manager, then you might know that weird little trap in management where caring too much can start looking a lot like hovering. Well, not just looking, as it practically is hovering. It’s not all that easy here to create a meaningful workplace experience when dealing with that, right?
On the manager's side, sure, it all totally makes sense since a manager wants the work done properly, wants the employee to succeed, wants the client happy, wants the team to avoid a mess, and before long, they’re checking every draft, rewriting every sentence, asking for updates every twenty minutes, and wondering why the employee seems nervous instead of confident.
And okay, it usually doesn’t come from a bad place (well, not usually at least). Like most managers aren’t sitting there thinking, “Lovely, time to make everyone feel watched.” A lot of the time, it’s pressure. Again, makes total sense here given the fact that deadlines are tight, standards are high, mistakes are visible, and the manager knows they’ll probably be the one answering awkward questions if something goes sideways.
At the same time, however, you really need to keep in mind here that employees don’t grow very much when they’re managed like fragile glass. Instead, they grow when they get support, space, trust, and enough guidance to make smart decisions without feeling like someone is breathing down their neck.
It’s Time to Stop Confusing Support with Taking Over
Alright, so there’s a big difference between helping someone and quietly doing the job for them with extra steps. Like a manager might think they’re being useful by jumping in every time an employee hesitates, but that can accidentally teach the employee that they shouldn’t trust their own judgment. So clearly, that’s not really a good idea here. Well, that, and it’s easy to slip into, especially when the manager already knows the answer. Someone asks a question, the manager gives the solution, and everyone moves on. Efficient, sure, but if that happens every time, the employee never really learns how to think through the problem themselves.
Just Give the Goal
And another thing that you should really keep in mind here is the fact that a lot of micromanaging starts because expectations are fuzzy. While the manager knows what “good” looks like in their head, the employee has to guess. What’s the problem there? Well, then the work comes back slightly off, the manager gets frustrated, and with that, well, that means that everyone’s trapped in a loop of corrections, check-ins, and mild workplace tension.
Clearly, that’s not ideal and could eventually lower morale. But a clear direction at the start saves so much of that. What’s the outcome? What does success look like? What has to be included? What should be avoided? What deadline actually matters? What decisions can the employee make alone, and what needs approval? Maybe a little too many questions, yeah, sure, maybe.
But that last part is huge. If someone doesn’t know what they’re allowed to own, they’ll keep coming back for permission. Then the manager gets annoyed that they’re not independent, even though independence was never clearly handed over in the first place. Now obviously, here, that’s not a good scenario. But yeah, that’s very common, very fixable, and yes, slightly irritating.
Now’s the Time to Ask Better Questions Before Giving Better Advice
Well, advice is tempting because it feels helpful, and honestly, sometimes it is. Like truly, it can be, but if every conversation turns into the manager handing over answers, the employee’s thinking gets pushed to the side. Clearly, you don’t want that; that’s far from ideal, but coaching-style questions can change that. What would that be like? Well, some example questions would be: What’s the main issue? What’s getting in the way? What options are there? What would happen if this approach were taken? What support would make this easier?
Again, just some examples here, but these questions help employees slow down and actually process the problem, instead of just waiting for instructions. But for those managers out there who want a more structured way to handle development conversations, it can be useful to read about the key features and benefits of gaining an ILM Coaching and Mentoring Qualification, and look into getting a certificate or diploma to help improve your coaching skills. But the whole point for a manager to gain some coaching skills would be making sure nothing turns into a one-to-one into a stiff performance review.
Give Trust in a Way that Still has Guardrails
Granted, here, that could be debatable on whether or not that's even trust at all. But trust doesn’t mean disappearing and hoping for the best. That’s not empowering; like, not in the slightest here. However, for the most part here, good managers create guardrails. Like, they agree on check-in points, clarify what needs approval, explain the risks, and stay available without hovering. The employee knows they have room to work, but they’re not abandoned.
The manager knows progress is happening, but they’re not controlling every tiny movement. Do you see how there’s balance here? Usually, that balance is where people tend to do their best work, since they’re trusted enough to try, but supported enough not to feel thrown into the deep end.
Stop Treating Mistakes Like Evidence what Trust was a Bad Idea
Yes! Seriously! You’d be so surprised how often this happens, too! And yeah, this part is hard for managers, because mistakes can be expensive, embarrassing, or just deeply inconvenient. But even so, you still need to keep in mind here that if every mistake leads to tighter control, employees quickly learn that independence is only allowed when they’re perfect. And nobody is perfect, especially when they’re learning.
Honestly, here, the better question is what the mistake shows. Was the instruction unclear? Was the deadline unrealistic? Did the employee need more training? Did they make a reasonable decision with the information they had? Did the manager step back too far, too fast? Again, there have been a lot of questions through this post, but these questions are pretty relevant, though. It’s more about reflection.
